Perfecting the Perfectionist

As a musician, it’s no secret  that most of struggle with being a perfectionist. While this may sound like a good thing, it does actually come with many unique struggles. I’m going to use my story, since it’s the one I’m most familiar with, to give an inside look into what I currently do to help when things get tough. I am in no way an expert in dealing with the anxiety and other symptoms that often accompany our perfection tendencies. However, I do have a lot experience in exploring different techniques to help combat these negative side effects. Essentially, I have spent the better part of my nineteen years perfecting my perfectionist and while not everything is going to work for you, you have a whole life time to perfect your inner perfectionist, too!

As far as my story goes, it’s as simple as constantly fighting the fear of disappointing people close to me. I’ve always done really well in school, and the thought of anything less than perfect constantly scares me into long nights of studying and early mornings cramming as much information down my throat as I can. When it comes to musicianship, I push myself every week to make sure I am making the best progress possible. Most of my anxieties in the music hit me the hardest when it comes to performing. Ever since I began performing soloistically, my performance anxiety has been crippling. I don’t think there has been a performance where I haven’t cried in anticipation of stepping on stage. I’ve never liked the idea of other people judging my playing and my playing alone because I felt I would never live up to expectations people have set for me.

I’m here to tell you, you’re not alone in fighting with the struggles attached to being a perfectionist. I’m also here to give you some tips on efficient ways to deal with those struggles.

1. Take a break – Sometimes you just work better after a break, whether it’s from studying or practicing. If you get frustrated, you aren’t going to be able to accomplish anything. Take that break, even if its just for a few minutes to clear your mind. In all honesty, if I get really upset at something I am not able to get in the practice room, I am willing to try and take up to a full day off because my brain cannot handle working under the frustration usually attached to the practice stresses.

2. Get an audience – Let’s be honest, this is going to be the hardest thing to actually do just because it goes against everything we want to do. At the beginning of my first semester of flute lessons, I was in full-blown panic mode and my professor told me to perform in front of someone every day until my recital. If you end up doing this, and I highly recommend that you do, make those experiences meaningful. Grab people who are going to give you more to work with than just, “yeah, you sound good.” In reality, you’re probably going to be so terrified the first times you do this you won’t even sound that good. Don’t worry, the more you do this, the better you will sound! I promise!

3. Accept Reality – There is no such thing as a perfect performance or perfect grade. We’re humans and we mess up and that’s okay. It keeps life exciting and we should always strive to learn something from those mistakes. Keep yourself surrounded by the right people because they have no set expectation for us. The fear we have of disappointing of them is usually something we’ve conjured up in our head to justify our irrational fear of letting someone down. Understand and accept that perfection doesn’t exist, but never stop chasing down the idea of progress. If you’re pushing yourself to be the best you possibly you can be, you’ll never be disappointed.

Woman of the Week:

Tamara Hrivnak recently joined Google Play and YouTube as the Director of Music Partnerships. She received her Master’s Degree from Queens University in Political Sciences and her Doctorate from University of Toronto in Law. While neither of her degrees were in music, most of her very successful career has been spent in the music industry. Before her time with Google Play and YouTube, Tamara spent almost ten years working in multiple positions for Warner Music Group. She has also had a few jobs working in various fields of technology before she got into the music business. Currently, her job at Google Play and YouTube has Tamara in charge of  licensing strategy and business development with major record labels and music publishers and oversees current and potential partnerships in music for Google Play. Tamara’s education and work in law are what inspire me the most. She is no doubt another inspiring woman giving the next generation of music business women someone to look up to.

Until next week,

Emily