twenty one pilots

I remember when I finally decided what it was that I wanted to do. Music Business. It had a nice ring to it. However, it was a ring with a lot of questions attached. One I get frequently regards why I want to go into this field. Especially for people who aren’t in the music spectrum, it can be hard to understand. I also respect the confusion, because  I can’t fathom ever wanting to go into nursing or history. However, I figure I could try to shed some light on the way my mind works.

First off, please try to understand that feelings are extremely hard to put into words and I may come up short a few times throughout the rest of this blogs.

I was twelve years old when I went to my first concert. It was an arena packed with preteens all screaming for our favorite boy band, the Jonas Brothers. While this was a special experience, it wasn’t until I went to my first standing-room-only show that I appreciated how powerful live music was. I just turned thirteen and my favorite band, The Maine, was on the sage in front of me. I have since seen them live eight times, and look forward to the next time I am able to see them. It was because of that show that I wanted to be in music, specifically live music, forever.

In one of my previous blogs, I mentioned my daily struggle with being a perfectionist. Attached to this, I often deal with intense bouts of anxiety and until a few months ago I didn’t really know how to deal with it. During my senior year,the most stressful time of my life, my anxiety was at an all time high and I was struggling to even maintain my closest of friendships. It was at that point a long distance friend recommended listening to twenty one pilots, because many of their songs deal with overcoming insecurities and dealing with our individual demons. Needless to say, they had a huge impact on my life and I have never related so closely to lyrics before in my life. It was a hugely important find in my life because they helped remind me that I was not alone in these feelings and gave me yet another sanctuary in music.

So there’s some backstory and sentimental value. Basically, I’ve always thought concerts were rad.

I went to their show this past week and it really inspired me all over again. And here is the part where I try to put into words what I felt that night. Warning: cliche feelings ahead.

I was with my two best friends, one of them was actually who recommended listening to twenty one pilots almost two years ago. They flew down to Colorado from Washington and we stocked up on sunscreen and snacks and camped outside the venue for nine hours before the doors opened. We danced and laughed through the first two acts, despite the extremely inebriated couple behind us. Then we waited. It wasn’t until they started setting up the stage that it even began to feel real. Once the fog started, it became very real to me and the other 9,799 fans in the amphitheater and the screams began to fill the air. We were all about to see our idols. In front of us. Singing our favorite songs. We’ve waiting months for this moment and it was finally there.

You look around and you see everyone just as excited as you are. We will all be connected by this night and this band. In this setting, no one cares about how you dress, or your job, because it’s all about the music.

You look around again, this time you see thousands of phone flashlights on, swaying with the beat. When everyone else is looking at the artist, look around and see a new kind of light. This one is within all of the fan’s eyes. It’s there because having these words sung to you in person is something that will take your heart captive.

Just once more, look around, but this time focus your attention on the performers. Realize they are people and all of the hard work they’ve been putting in is paying off. They have that same light in their eyes and you can’t even fathom how happy they must feel to have you in the crowd, singing their words.

But hands down, my favorite thing about concerts is a special moment, and a moment I live for. When you and thousand s of other concert-goers are singing the same words at the top of your lungs you take over. Suddenly, the voice of thousands is beating out the sound system and you are no longer about to hear the singer, just the crowd. That’s what I live for.

These moments, the pure bliss you are presented with at events like this. That’s why I want to do it. I want to help others find their sanctuary because I know how badly I needed mine.